Fresh Start
by IWISHAWASNTATWIHEART
Summary: What if Edward never came back, What if Bella can't even remember him? Bella has amnesia and doesn't remember anything, her parents are determind to keep it this way. But when Edward comes into town everything changes... -IWISHIWASNTATWIHEART
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, this is something a little different. Bella goes cliff diving as she does in New Moon but instead of healing she wakes up with Amnesia. Her parents are trying to protect her from the Cullens, The pack down in LaPush and everything that might stir memories of Edward and her life together. However Bella slowly is going to remember things and but upset at her parents from shielding her from her past life.**

**This story is going to be mainly in BPOV but i a going to put a little EPOV in as well. Please read and comment, Thanks **

**-IWISHIWASNTATWIHEART**

My name is Isabella Swan, but apparently I prefer Bella. I live in Arizona, but they tell me I used to live in Forks. I am a nobody here, but everyone has said that I used to be a somebody. Three weeks ago I woke up in a hospital room, not knowing who I was, what I looked like, whom my friends and family were, I knew nothing. There were something's that were clear, I knew I was in a hospital room for starters, and I knew that the machines to my right were monitoring my heart rate, blood levels etc. These were things I merely knew, these were the boring details of every day life, but I knew nothing of myself.

My parents, or so they tell me (think about it, my parents could have decided that they didn't want me and some other random's could have claimed that they were my parents.) told me that I had amnesia. They have been telling me things each day, about my old life and myself. My mother, Renee said that it would be best to come live with her in Arizona, "because since I was starting fresh I should do it in a new place, where everything was fresh". My father, Charlie argued against her and said that, "Wouldn't things come back to her faster if she was in a place to remind her." My mother had given him a meaningful glare and then towed him out of the room, leaving me confused and aware that there was something's in this town my mother did not want me to remember, memories that should be left unvisited. After this chat my father reluctantly agreed though that Arizona would be best, leaving me curious as ever as to what exactly it was they were hiding from me.

In my first week in the hospital the nurse told me that my regular doctor was going to be Dr. Carlisle Cullen. My parents chucked a fit, saying that he was not suitable,

"He is supposed to be in LA, how dare he come back just because of what happened to Bella!" Charlie shouted.

"There is no way that he is going anywhere near her after what his son did to-" She cut of abruptly looking at me, "after what he did." She finished, dodging my glare.

Needless to say that the mysterious Dr. Carlisle Cullen was not aloud to be my doctor and I got Dr. Grandy instead.

My old school graduating class gave me a folder of notes and pictures, trying to remind me who I was, and give me comfort. I decided after reading all of the notes and having most of the class come to see me that my favorite friend's were Angela, her boyfriend Ben and another guy called Eric. The worst visit I had was from a vile Mike Newton who tried to convince me that we were going out before my accident and made an attempt to kiss me. A slap made him change his mind and leave me alone. I got a gift from Angela, a book, to write in things as I remembered them, sort of like a diary. I immediately hid it from my parents knowing because of how overprotective they had been, that they would read it and see how much I was remembering.

I used the front half of the book to record things about myself, what I found out I liked and didn't like, who my real friends were and random things that were coming to be slowly. The back half I used for writing down suspicions I had and left space for plenty of things that I hoped I would learn about my advents in forks.

I am now living in Arizona; I go to the local high school, because I am retaking my senior year. Charlie calls almost every night to know how I am going and how I like Arizona. I think that I miss him, but it is hard to tell since my memory of him is only three weeks old.

"Dinner is ready Bella." I hear Renee shout,

"Coming Mom!" I yell as I run down the stairs

Phil is already sitting at the table; he is Renee's husband, a minor league baseball player. When my mother told me this I said, "Oh, anyone I would know?" but she said that he hadn't had his big break yet. That line that I said stirred some memory, of myself walking down what appeared to be a school corridor with a bright light to my side. It was obvious that someone was walking next to be, but the light was so bright that I could not even make out whether it was a female or male.

"What is for dinner Mom?" I ask wearily, from the previous three nights I know to be careful whenever Renee is cooking. There was always something burnt, tasting off or just gross.

"We are having Chicken pie, I made it myself!" She finishes proudly. I could hear Phil groan next to me, I wonder he manages normally.

"That sounds great." I say to please her, but really I am thinking, its just chicken pie, that's pretty basic, how bad can it get.

I will tell you how bad, really bad. The pastry was all soggy, the pie was filled with brown looking 'vegetables' Renee called them, and after taking the first bite I come across a blood clot on one of the chicken pieces I hadn't eaten yet. I stop eating I stop eating immediately.

"You know what Renee, tomorrow I think I am going to cook, you know to see how much I remember, Charlie said I used to be really good. It would be nice if I am still good at something." Phil nodded in agreement.

"Okay, that might be best." Renee just laughed and got out some microwavable dinners, chucking the 'pie' in the bin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, sorry the last chapter was so short, this one a bit longer I think. In this chapter Bella has a couple more memories back and one massive epiphany. There is also another point of view, Renee, but i am not going to do many Renee's i think, i am going to stick mostly to Bella. Anyways Renee gets some important information.**

**Should Bella keep having more and more visions? Do you think they are coming to close together? Please let me know.**

**Please comment- Thanks **

**-IWISHIWASNTATWIHEART**

BPOV

Beep…Beep…Beep… What the heck? Beep…Beep…Beep

I open my eyes and am almost blinded by the light. I am immediately frustrated with myself, this has happened every morning since I arrived at the sunny state of Arizona. I fumbled around my bedside table, refusing to sit up to turn off my alarm and finally turned off that retched alarm clock. I groan to myself the first day of school. I hate to be the center of attention! Suddenly my dream I had just had fills my mind, I was lying in a meadow next to a blur of sparkles, the smile I had seen upon my face surprised me, I have never seen myself smile like that before. Throughout the whole dream there was a tune playing, the same tune always plays through my dreams. It is a sickly sweet tune, a lullaby I guess you can call it. However every time the end is sad, as if something is desired but can never be touched. Every night I dream, sometimes I have nightmares, sometimes good dreams, but they always have that tune. And in every dream I have there is the sparkly blurred figure next to or near me. Every night the figure gets less and less blurred, last night I got to see bronze hair, the sunlight from the meadow playing with the colour, it was beautiful. The hair was short, making me think that the figure is male, but it is still too blurred to tell.

I get out my book and write down sparkly, brown haired male. There isn't much written, the place where I discover the most is my dreams. So far I remember a house, not just any house a large house, with window planes. I can remember the feeling I must have had when I was in that house, safety, and warmth although the house was strangely cold. I remember a beach, with pebbles instead of sand, all of them different colours. There was also a log on the beach; I once had a vision of nausea and retching after hearing the name victoria. There were warm arms that wrapped around me and comforted me. I don't know what any of these visions mean, I don't know any of the reasons behind them, but I am hoping that with more time there will be more visions making sense of my muddled up life. It may be a long shot but hope is all I have left.

I walk down the stairs now changed into a singlet and shorts, feeling the summery air. Phil has made pancakes; I sit down at the table and take one of the stack.

"Hey Phil, where is mom?"

"She went for a coffee with a friend. She wanted to be able to say good luck for your first day of school but the friend said it was important." The way Phil said friend made me suspicious. He seemed like he was hiding something. He was as bad a liar as me.

"Oh yeah, anyone I know?" I ask

"No, just a friend she has at the hospital. She wanted to inform your mother about something she said." He squirmed. There was defiantly something going on, but I am too hungry to push him on it so I start eating.

"Okay, whatever. This is really good by the way. I am glad to see that you are not as bad a cook as Renee." I laugh.

"Yeah your mother is pretty terrible at cooking huh? And thank you. Renee said to tell you that the school is only about a mile away or so but if you wanted I could give you a lift."

"No it is alright I can walk." I like walking, it is relaxing and sometimes when I am relaxed I remember more. "Thanks Phil, bye" I walk out of the house with my backpack slung over one shoulder, leaving my washing up for him to do. He deserves it after not telling me all of the information about this mysterious friend Renee was meeting.

As I walk out of the house I remember something, me fleeing from the same house rushing a ballet studio. I am curious and I have a lot of time before school starts. I walk the way I remember and come to a construction site. There was still reminisce of what looked like a fire but it was now being cleared to build a high-rise building. I walk away confused. Why would I run to a burnt down ballet studio, but in my vision it was defiantly standing in tact. Suddenly another vision bursts into my mind, a man with eyes black as pitch stalking in front of me, I was crumbled in a corner, blood dampening my hair. Suddenly everything goes black. Then I awake to a burning in my hand, it is like a fire inside me, why wont someone put it out? Then the vision cuts off. I start hyperventilating. What happened in Forks? Is this what everyone is trying to hide from me? A number of attacks and accidents? Something feels wrong; I look at my hand that was burning in the vision and realize something I didn't notice before. There are two crescent marks that are a couple of degrees colder than my other skin. They sparkle lightly in the sunlight, just like the figure from my dreams. I guess for most people would give up the investigation at this point thinking it is too scary to go on with. But for me, this is just the start. I want to know everything that happened to me, whether it is scary or not. I want to know about my past life, I want to remember Edward. Edward? Edward! Yes that was the person next to me in my dreams I remember now. There is no face I know of to put to this mysterious Edward only bronze hair, but at least it is a start.

RPOV (Renee)

My phone rang; I pick up on the third ring, "Hello?"

"Hi Renee, this is Jane from work, there is something you have to know!" A frantic voice said to me.

"Hang on calm down Jane, what is it?"

"Umm… can I meet you for coffee? Down by the beach?"

"Well it is Bella's first day of school today, I did want to stick around to say goodbye to her. Can this wait?"

"No Renee, listen this is really important. I need to inform you about something, about Bella."

Inform me about something? Jane was never this formal, unless something was seriously wrong. I look at my husband who has now stopped making pancakes and looking at me franticly.

"Okay I will meet you there in 10 minutes alright. And calm down Jane. You are going to hurt yourself worrying too much."

"Thank you! Bye."

"What was that?" Phil asked, he looked about as worried as Jane sounded.

"Don't worry Jane wants to 'inform' me about something. Everything is fine. She wants to tell me some information regarding Bella. I am meeting her for coffee in 10 minutes. Can you tell Bella good luck for me?"

"Yeah sure. Bye I love you."

"Love you too," I yell as I grab my bag and shove my phone in.

I walk down the beach, looking around for Jane; there is not sight of her. Suddenly I see her running down the beach, huffing and puffing.

"Good morning Jane." I say as I pass her the coffee I got for her, I know how she likes it, black with two sugars.

"Hi… Renee… thanks…. Listen I have…. To tell you something…. About Bella." She was still huffing.

"Alright you sounded worried on the phone, what is going on?"

"There was a registration at the hospital as a doctor." Her voice was more even now,

"Okay, what has this got to do with my daughter?" I ask confused again

"The doctor is Carlisle Cullen, and he wants to be Bella's regular doctor."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, thanks for the positive reviews it is really comforting. This chapter is in Edward point of view. Alice visits him and tells him about Bella's amnesia. **

**As always please comment, thanks!**

**-IWISHIWASNTATWIHEART**

EPOV

I haven't hunted in weeks, I am so thirsty and yet I am in one of the most popular bars in Rio, not so good for a vampire to be absolutely surrounded my humans when it is this thirsty. Alice said she would meet me here, said she wanted to talk to me. I guess this was going to be another attempt to get me to move back in with Carlisle and Esme. Although there is a part of me that missed my family, it is over-ridden with the extreme longing to see Bella again. To hold her in my arms, to whisper I love you and hear her whisper back that she does love me to, to be able to watch her and protect her and be with her. My thoughts were interrupted by yet another pathetic human having a crude fantasy about me, I wish I could tell her what would happen if my lips got anywhere near her body with how thirsty I am at this point in time, surely she would stop polluting my mind with those images then.

Finally I hear Alice's excited mind over the deep beat of the music. If the music were about anything other than getting drunk and 'hooking up' then I would have more respect for it but then again these days I am down on everything. Something about losing your soul mate, having your heart ripped in half and having no reason for living really is starting to curb my mood. Alice was almost at the bar I was sitting at now, another half minute and she would be next to me. I haven't seen Alice for months when I visited the whole family and the Denali's. But a combination of being around perfectly matched couples and being heartbroken myself and Tanya's pursuits to court me made me leave within the first few hours of the stay.

"Edward!" Alice squealed,

"Hi Alice" I said not as enthusiastically.

"How have you been? I mean are you dealing with things okay? You haven't called in a while…" She looked upset now, her mind was showing me how much she missed me, I tried to block it out, I was feeling bad enough already without feeling guilty from not talking to Alice.

"I am very much the same as last time we spoke, which is why I didn't call. There is nothing new to report."

"Aww Edward, you are still moping? And you haven't eaten in months I would say. Come on lets get you something to eat, I could fit some more in I think." We both knew that Alice was lying, although she was trying to hide it, her last hunting trip was only several days ago and she had gutted herself, drinking excessively so she wouldn't have to hunt for at least another month.

"Fine so that wasn't true but you look like hell, so lets go. Then we can have a talk."

"Fine, whatever." I shrug. I have to eat sometime, may as well go now. The chat however I am not looking forward to.

After 4 hours my eyes were back to their topaz colour, I was not the biggest fan of this colour but I remember Bella loved them, ah pain. It is painful to think about Bella, it feels like my heart is ripping into two in my chest.

"Okay Alice, now what did you want to talk about?" I say, getting straight to the point.

"Why don't we go somewhere more private, I assume that you have an apartment, right?"

I do have an apartment but I know for a fact that Bella is not going to like it, "Yeah I do. Lets go back to the bar and I will drive you."

We speed off back to the bar and again I find myself thinking about Bella. It is a habit I must stop, the pain is too strong.

As we climb into the cheep black car I rented I long for my Vanquish or even my silver Volvo. They were back at the main Cullen house, as was all of the other furniture. I wonder how the house looks now, ridden with dust, filled with cobwebs. It most likely looks like a real vampire house now, haunted and spooky.

When we reach the building I hear Alice gasp, I know what she is thinking, literally, I chuckled to myself at how that sounded, but it was a dry cracked laugh, it sounded fake. I had not laughed a real laugh since Bella's 18th birthday party. I shake away the thought. Alice is thinking about how I have been neglecting myself and is again thinking he should move back home. Oh well if this really is just visit to persuade me to go back to my family it will be short. The answer no doesn't take long to say.

"Number 3" I say and we walk up the grimy stairs to number 3.

Alice briefly nods.

As I swing open the door her jaw drops. I know what she is seeing, blacked out windows, grimy carpet, a bed, if you can call it that, a TV with a couch beside it and a mountain of diaries. Ever since I became a vampire I have written diaries, taking about the time that I live in, who I have met, my moods. Some decades I am depressed, some elated. That was the difference Bella brought to my life, elation. But when I was with Bella I stopped writing, I decided that I should like in the moment, but now here I am again writing diaries.

"Edward, why didn't you get a nicer place, why didn't you go to a different town where there is no sun? Why can't you come home with us?"

"Look Alice the reason I can't come house is because there are three perfectly matched couples there, all in love. I used to be a perfectly matched couple Alice, I still am in love. It is too painful to be around the family. And as for why I chose Rio, I don't know, it doesn't matter where I am though. It is not like I am going to sightsee." I know that is harsh but I am angry now, why wouldn't they stop hassling me?

"Look Edward there is something I need to tell you, why I asked to meet you. Something happened to Bella."

Happened to Bella? Alice wouldn't be here if it wasn't something serious. I grab Alice's shoulders and shake her a little; my life hanging by a string, if Bella was dead the pain would be too to keep living.

"Alice, what happened to Bella?"

"You are going to need to stop shaking me." I stop, "She had an accident, well it was more intentional. She jumped off a cliff. Some say it was a suicide attempt but no one really knows because when she woke up after her fall, she had amnesia. She doesn't remember anything about us Edward." She finished, not sure how I will take that information. The love of my life now doesn't know I exist. Doesn't know what I look like, doesn't know my name. And I am here stuck mourning over her every single damn hour. But there is another part of me that is happy, all the pain I caused, she will now forget, she can't remember any of it.

"That's good I guess, she doesn't remember the pain she was obviously in."

"But the reason I came was to tell you that she is going to remember everything Edward. Almost all amnesia patients get all their memory back, imagine if she suddenly remembered you were a vampire, she would freak! We need to be there when she remembers, to stop her from accidentally telling someone or something like that. I can see her Edward, I had a vision of her curled up in the corner, frightened muttering the word vampire over and over."

Would she stop reminding me how much Bella was in pain? I feel like my chest is empty, tearing to shreds, ripping me apart from the inside.

"But then again she doesn't know you yet, not everything about you. You can have a fresh start with her. She fell in love with you the first time, what is to stop it happening again? Anyway I better go. But before I go I need to tell you that Carlisle is going to be her doctor, she needs someone to be monitoring her. She is living with her mother in Arizona. I love you Edward and I miss you. Bye." and then speeds of not giving me a chance to say my goodbye.

I sit down and think about this logically. So Bella doesn't remember me, that is good but bad as well, for me. I know that she will remember me, that is going to scare her. I know that I miss her and I love her. Can she love me back, it was a risk i was willing to take, after all if she couldn't love me, it was just my heart that would break.

If anything is clear it is that I am going to see Bella Swan again. I am going to go to Arizona and grovel and beg for her to take me back. I will explain anything that she wants me to and leave if she dosesn't want me, but i am going.

The temptation of a fresh start is too much.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, thanks for all of the positive feedback. **

**Just to answer a question yes Edward is going to come back, soon. I just need Bella to have a vague idea of who he is first before just throwing him back into her life. Give it two chapters or so and then her will be back.**

**In this chapter Bella finds out more people and finishes the chapter with an important phonecall.**

**IMPORTANT: There is a flashback in this chapter and an extract from New Moon the book. I do not own that.**

**I love you all**

**-IWISHIWASNTATWIHEART**

BPOV

I walk into my house and dump my bag on the counter, making my mother jump who was fully absorbed in a book and didn't hear me come in.

"School sucks!"

"Awww honey what happened?" She asks jumping up leaving her book on the table.

"Every teacher made me introduce myself in front of the class, I have gym every day and it is compulsory to play a sport!" She laughs.

"Mom it is not funny! You know how terrible I am at balancing, imagine me in a team! I didn't laugh when you signed up for aqua aerobics last year!"

"You remember? Do you remember me signing up for aqua aerobics?"

That had me stumped, "Yeah I guess I do. You told me in an email I think, last year when I was sitting in my room with Edward." The memory was clear now. I was reading an email of my computer whilst Edward lying on my bed, but again I couldn't see him just a sparkly blur with bronze hair.

She froze. "Edward. Who is Edward?" She asks although it is clear she is knows who Edward is.

"I remember him, well not everything about him but it is coming clearer. Why? Was Edward bad?" I ask trying to get more details about him.

"Ummm... kind of. Just stop trying to think about him okay? It is best that you leave that chapter of your life behind. What about the people at school though? Anyone nice?" She rushed through, no doubt trying to distract me.

"Yeah there were some nice people I guess. There was a girl called Tammy, she was nice and Jenna so far is my favorite person. I agreed to go shopping with them on the weekend." I just realize as I say that, that I hate shopping.

"That's nice. It is good you are making friends. Me and Charlie were worried because of how you were before you met Jacob, we thought you might be the same now-"

"Jacob?" I asked cutting her off.

"Oh my gosh did I say Jacob? I mean um… never mind. Why don't you start making dinner?" She asks realizing that she just slipped up, massively. She runs off leaving me confused. Who was Jacob, Jacob White? Jacob Grey? Jacob Black! Suddenly the vision I had about the warm arms comforting after hearing the name Victoria again flooded my mind. But it was different this time,

_Victoria was here. Looking for me. Killing strangers in the woods. The woods where Charlie was searching…_

_My head spun sickeningly._

_Jacobs's hands caught my shoulders- kept me from sliding forward onto the rocks. I could feel his hot breath on my check. "Bella! What's wrong?"_

"_Victoria," I gasped as soon as I could catch my breath around the nauseous spams. _

_In my head, Edward snarled in fury at the name._

_I felt Jacob pull me up from my slump. He draped me awkwardly across his lap, lying my limp head against his shoulder. He struggled to balance me, to keep me from sagging over, one way or the other. He brushed the sweaty hair back from my face._

"_Who?" Jacob asked. "Can you her me, Bella? Bella"_

"_She wasn't Laurent's mate," I moaned into his shoulder. "They were just old friends…"_

"_Do you need some water? A doctor? Tell me what to do," He demanded frantic._

"_I'm not sick- I'm scared," I explained in a whisper. The word _scared _didn't really seem to cover it._

Then the vision stopped. I was standing there my mouth hanging open like an idiot. After a few seconds later I run to my room and open my book, hidden underneath the mattress. I wrote down,

Jacob Black: extremely warm, protecting, obviously cared about me.

Edward _: Doesn't like Victoria, I talked to him about Phil, We were once in a meadow together, and I think I liked him. Renee also seems to know him and is eager for me not to.

Victoria: I used to be terrified of her; She was an old friend with Laurent

Laurent: Old friends with Victoria

Nothing made sense. But suddenly I have an idea. I pull out my mobile phone from my pocket and dial Charlie's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dad, it is Bella."

"Bells, hey, how are you?"

"Good thanks, look I was calling for a favor, can I call somewhere in Forks to get anyone's number like a town hall or something?"

"Yeah you could call the Forks Hall, but why?" He asks me hesitantly, probably not wanting me to get my hands on the wrong number.

"I just want to call…" I think for a name, "Angela, you know from my old class."

"Oh okay, yeah just call that, the number is," I grab a pen and scrawl it in my book, so I can use it later if I remember anyone else.

"Thanks dad, bye"

"Bye Bells." Charlie says then I hang up the phone and start pushing in the numbers for the town hall.

"Hello this is Mrs. Cope," an old voice says into my receiver. The name seems familiar to me, ah that was right; she used to work in the office at Fork high school. I remember now. There was another vision that appeared at the back of my mind, I was sitting down, feeling slightly sick, Edward still a blurry was persuading her that I had to go home. However in this vision not all of Edward was blurry, I could see his face, and it knocked the breath out of me. I had never seen anything as beautiful, well I guess I have seen it before, but I never remember seeing anything so beautiful.

"Hello?" Mrs. Cope was asking

"Oh hi, I was wondering if I could please have Jacob Black's number, this is Bella Swan."

"Oh hi Bella! Sure!" And now she was telling me Jacob's number. I wrote that next to the town hall number.

"Thanks Mrs. Cope!" I say and then hang up.

I dial the number, and a familiar husky voice answers it.

"Jacob Black? This is Bella, Bella Swan I need your help."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, sorry it has been a while since the last upload. I am going to be away for the next five nights, so there will be no more uploads but after that i promise i will make up for it!**

**In this chapter I am going back to Renee for a short paragraph and then I have put in a new POV, Carlisle. Carlisle wants to be Bella's doctor as i said before in an earlier chapter and Renee is meeting him to hear him out. I have also put a new character in, Jenna, the girl that Bella said was nice at school. She is going to be in it more from now on, this is kind of her introduction chapter.**

**Thanks guys again for all the reviews it is really uplifting. I always forget to write this, I don't own twilight or any of the characters.**

**Please review, if you have any questions ask them in the reviews or PM me. I love you all.**

RPOV (Renee)

Today is the day that I am meeting Carlisle Cullen. After my chat with Jane, I had decided to meet him and talk about his intensions about becoming Bella's doctor. Jane arranged a meeting straight away and I am now waiting staring at the clock, dreading the moment when it will strike 5. I am meeting Carlisle at 5:20 at the local café, and I am not looking forward to it. He said over the phone when he confirmed the meeting time, that he just wants a chance to explain himself.

_Click_**  
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The bigger hand strikes 5. I sigh, but know I can't put this of for any longer and grab my bag and head out.

CPOV (Carlisle)

I am sitting in a café, awaiting Renee Dwyer to walk through the door. I have only seen her once in person, after the accident with James, but I doubted she would remember me too well. Human memories are no more than a sieve. The sun had set about 10 minutes ago, I asked Alice to check for the weather for me, the last thing we needed was for her to have suspicions about my being a vampire.

I look up from the table when I hear footsteps walking towards the door, suspecting it might be Renee. I am right and watch her as she walks into the café. She recognizes me immediately, must have remembered my appearance at least. She is hesitant as she walks over to me, her heart was thudding away, she must be nervous.

"Hi Renee, it is nice to see you again." I greet her kindly; we Cullen's charm most people, if they allow themselves to be charmed.

"Carlisle." She says with a nod.

"You look well, how is Bella doing?"

"She is better, things are coming back to her. She remembers Edward now, not everything about him, not how he dumped her, but she remembers him." She says in a guarded tone.

"I was afraid of that, look Renee I know that me becoming Bella's doctor must sound crazy to you-"

"- Crazy? It sounds terrible. Seeing you will remind her so much more about what happened last September. I don't want her to be like she was before. You didn't see her. I did. Charlie called me down to take her back to Arizona, thinking that it was the town that was making her depressed. She was like a zombie; there was no life in her. Charlie said she wouldn't eat, drink, or talk. But when we started packing her clothes, something in her woke up. She chucked a fit, worse than any I remember her having as a child. She threw her clothes around and screamed and finally broke into tears, and cried for hours. We couldn't get her to stop; it was like she wasn't even there. Carlisle it was one of the worst things I have ever had to deal with in my life." I am taken back by her lecture. I had no idea things were this bad. She sounded worse than some of the people I had dealt with in the past in the psychiatric ward.

"Renee, I had no idea things were that bad. I only contacted you to be Bella's doctor because I felt like I knew her; I still do feel like I know her even if she does not know me. I understand how she works and I have been her doctor before. I also wanted to be there for when she does remember my family and I. I wanted to be able to explain, to make her understand. But if you think it is best to not allow me to treat her then I respect your decision. You are her parent, I know what being a parent is like after all."

"Speaking of you being a parent what happened to Edward? He never once called of wrote to her, never explained anything."

"He is dealing with things in his own way. He still very much loves your daughter. He is in love with her and I think it is crushing him to be apart from her. He only broke up with her because he believed that she could do better than him and that he was a bad influence for her."

"But if he still loves her why hasn't he contacted her? Has he heard about her illness?"

"I think it is too painful for him to contact her, I know that he wants to, but not I think he is scared. He is now aware of her amnesia. My other daughter Alice explained it to him."

"Alice was always nice to Bella. She is a lovely girl."

"Thank you."

As I was about to ask if I could see Bella, a waitress interrupted us, "May I take your order?" She asks friendly, she couldn't be old maybe 17 or 18. He name badge said 'Jenna'.

"I will a black coffee thanks." Renee replies.

Oh no, now they are looking at me for my order. I would be rude not to order something, my eyes skim the menu and I order the first drink I see.

"Can I please have a Mocha?"

"Sure I will be back with your drinks shortly. Sorry I don't mean to be a pain but are you Renee Dwyer? Bella Swan's mother?" She asks looking at Renee.

"Yes, oh you must be Jenna, she said something about you the other day, thanks for being kind to her. You know how hard it is to fit in when you first get to a new school." Renee looks grateful, I know how anxious Bella can get, it is nice to know that someone is looking after her at her new school.

"Oh no that's fine, Bella is really nice, I am going shopping with her tomorrow so that will be fun."

"Well I hope you both have fun."

"I will be back with your drinks, bye Renee." She replies walking away. I just make small talk with Renee until our drinks come back; I find the taste of the drink disgusting. It is much too bitter, but I pretend to sip at it.

"Okay, yes you can be Bella's doctor," Renee says as we are drinking our drinks, "On one condition, if ever I say that it is not working out because Bella is becoming upset or learning too much then you must stop right away. And if that happens I want you gone, out of town, not to contact her again, okay?"

Relief washes over me, "Thank you Renee, yes I agree to all your terms and don't worry, I will take good care of your daughter. I will schedule our first appointment tomorrow evening, so she should be back from her shopping trip by then."

"Okay sounds good."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys, sorry this chapter is so short, it is my smallest my half but i am going away this afternoon and i wanted to get one more chapter out before i left. This is going to be my last upload for a while, so enjoy this chapter.**

**Thanks again for all of your positive reviews, you guys are awesome!**

**Please keep reviewing!**

**-IWISHIWASNTATWIHEART**

BPOV

I open my eyes, thankful that today is Saturday and I do not have to wake up to my alarm. Then suddenly I remember what I have scheduled for today, uhh shopping. Jenna and Tammy should be picking me up at 10, so I have a half hour to get ready I calculated, quite a feat considering I have only been awake for 1 minute. With I groan I get out of bed and get dressed, I chose a deep blue button up blouse and my only skirt. Something about my outfit is strangely familiar, another vision hits me, I am running down the stairs excited and nearly fall into someone's arms, all of a sudden I can see Edward, everything about him, not only his bronze hair, but his beautiful face, his topaz eyes so warm and smoldering that even in the vision I felt like I was being hypnotized. I can see his muscular build and long tall frame. He is so beautiful that even in this vision I can feel I in love with him and I have been in love with him. The vision continues as we continue in conversation then he runs his fingers from my back down and leans into kiss me. So this is the guy I was dating before I got amnesia. Well I am sure he is a better person than Jacob who hung up on me when I asked for help.

I hear a toot from a car horn outside so I run downstairs, into the kitchen and I grab a granola bar and then run out the door into the car. Tammy and Jenna are in the front seat smiling at me, I smile in return and hop into the backseat.

"Hey guys, thanks for taking me out today." I say

"No worries, we are excited to show you the best shops in town, we were thinking of going dress shopping first. Is that alright?" Tammy says

"Yeah that's cool." I say, I am sure that no matter what shopping it is I will not enjoy it.

"Then we will go shoe shopping, maybe have a coffee and then just dawdle, we might stop at a bookshop or something, I know how you like book shopping Bella." Jenna relies with a wink at me. She knows me well. I just smile in return.

We walk through the shops trying to find a suitable café. We have already been dress shopping shoe shopping and because Tammy saw a 'really cute top' we had to go into that shop as well. All of a sudden three beautiful people walkout of a store. They are all pale, extremely so, there is one with blonde hair one with black and one with familiar bronze. As the bronze turns so he is in full view I recognize him, its Edward. My visions don't do him justice, he is heartbreakingly beautiful. The walk towards us, obviously not seeing us. As they are a few feet away I suddenly fall, the wall spin and the ground come up to my face, but instead of falling to the ground like I should have, strong cold arms catch me. I look up and see Edward, he caught me. Suddenly, everything comes back to me, everything. And I know who I am, what my name is, who my friends are, I know who I was and I know who I love, what I have been through and what is to be expected to come. As I am in Edwards arms, everything clicks into place.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, i am so sorry that i haven't updated for ages. I went away and then came back and was so busy i didn't have any time to write. For those who are interested time away was amazing, i went with old friends and it was nice to get to know them better again. **

**I know this chapter is really short, i also know this is the second chapter that is really short and want to let you know that i am not going to make all of the chapters shorter. I am after this one going to make them much much longer, but i wanted to get this out straight away. **

**Thanks again for your reviews, i received them whilst i was away and it was so nice to get all of your encouraging words. Please enjoy this chapter, it is in EPOV again.**

**Please review, review, review! Thanks I love you all**

**-IWISHIWASNTATWIHEART**

EPOV

I walk out of the clothing store I had just been in with Alice and Carlisle. Since I was moving back to Arizona to attempt to have Bella back into my life again, Alice had decided that I needed a new wardrobe. My outlook on life had brightened with the prospect of seeing Bella again and I had more tolerance for the human mind. There is nothing interesting today, most people shopping aimlessly but something familiar is filling my mind. It was a heartbeat that sounded so much like Bella's that I looked up. The sound was the same, but it does not have the same thud as it used to, not the same enthusiasm. It was almost as if something was missing. As I looked up I saw she is staring at me for a fraction of a second before her whole frame sways. Her body loses its strength and she sways again, falling into the ground. After a second of staring at her beauty I snapped into action, I rush over to her, I race as fast as I can and she falls into my arms. I look into her eyes that are now open and I see the deep brown that is swimming in there. I have missed that colour more than anything else in the world. I can hear her heart, suddenly it sounds normal again, like it used to. That off sound was gone when she was lying in my arms. It is as if this is where she is supposed to be, I like that, no I love that.

"Edward?" She gaspes, although it sounds more like a question. I can feel a smile stretching over my face, one that hadn't been there for such a long time.

"Edward, why are you where?" She asks now. The happiness I just saw in her eyes, now looks like hurt. She must remember now, the pain I caused her. She must be so confused as to why I was here.

"I think we should go somewhere to talk Bella. Is it alright if we go somewhere?" I am asking in the nicest way, I want her to know that I am not here to hurt her or cause her anymore pain.

There is a throat clearing sound and I look up to meet the eyes of two very confused looking teenaged girls. Their thoughts suddenly fill my head,

_What is he doing to her? Who is he? Bella seems to know him, maybe they used to be friends or something. He sure is something to look at, wow I wonder if he has a girlfriend. But I bet someone like him would not go out with someone like me._

_Is Bella alright? She looks upset, is it this Edward? Maybe we should try to get her away from him, make up some excuse about why she has to come with us._

I like the second girl more, as I read more and more into her thoughts I find out that her name is Jenna. She is more interested with Bella's wellbeing rather than my looks.

"I am sorry I am being rude," I say as I straighten Bella up and acknowledge the girls, "My name is Edward Cullen, I used to know Bella. I haven't seen her for a while though, would you mind if we got re-acquainted?" I am asking whilst using my most persuasive tone and staring right into their eyes.

"Well she clearly remembers you. I am sorry but Bella has to meet her… mother soon. I don't think she can meet you." Jenna speaks up looking away from my eyes.

"No guys its alright. I have my phone I will give my mother a call. I want to speak to Edward." Bella says, I breathe out a sigh of relief. I was so worried that she would not want to speak with me.

"Okay well take your shopping." The other girl, Tammy, says picking the bags Bella dropped when she fell off of the floor and handing them to Bella. "And we both have our mobiles so you can give us a call, later."

"Thanks you. I will make sure she gets home safely." I say.

_He better! _Tammy thinks rather aggressively, before going back to thinking about my looks. I block her out.

"Bye Tam, thanks Jenna." Bella says hugging each of the girls before they turn and way away. I notice then that Carlisle and Alice walk away, giving each a goodbye in their thoughts. I take Bella's hand and walk with her to the outside of the shopping center, sitting us both down on a park bench on the outskirts of the parking lot.

"I guess I should explain everything to you." I say, she nods. "I love you Bella, I never should have left."


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys, sorry it has been so hectic since the last upload! I am now back in business! **

**Bella and Edward are finally having their heart to heart! Yay Edella (Thats the combination name i gave them, if you have one too please leave a comment with it). **

**Thanks again for all of you comments and subscriptions to the story, it is so encouraging. I am sorry again that this is so late!**

**Please please review, I love you all**

**-IWISHIWASNTATWIHEART**

BPOV

_I guess I should explain everything to you." Edward says, I nod, "I love you Bella, I never should have left."_

Everything made sense now, I was in Arizona because my mother didn't want me to know about how Edward had pained me when I left. I can remember it now, that hole in my chest, the one that made me feel like I was being ripped apart, I remember. I remember how Jake fixed that whole, made me feel alive again. I remember how he is a werewolf and the reason he wasn't there when I went cliff diving was because he was on patrol. I remember jumping into the water and then darkness coming over me. And I remember Edward, sitting only a few feet away from me, now declaring his love.

"Bella?" He says although it sounded more like a question, I realize that I was blanking out, thinking about how full my life is, there are no more blank spots. It is both refreshing and kind of strange.

"Sorry, I was just thinking. What did you say, I think I must have heard you wrong." I don't want to get ahead of myself; I could have heard him wrong.

"Bella I said I love you. I love you more than anything and I have always loved you. I only left because I thought that was what you needed, you deserved a chance at a normal life. I could se what I was doing to you, I was isolating you, making you have to deal with things that no human should. It wasn't fair to you. So I left, but I am so selfish Bella, I can't live without you. There is nothing that I can do without remembering you and wishing you were near. I want to be with you, I love you." He finishes, looking at me with confidence on his face.

"Edward, I am not good enough for you, there is nothing about me that can hold you, nothing that can keep you with me. You deserve someone that can do that for you." He deserves someone who is like him, and I am not.

"Bella, you are everything to me, you are my whole life. If only I could make you realize that it is you that holds me to this Earth, your grasp is more powerful than any force of nature. You are why I exist." He speaks with such emotion and passion that it is almost impossible to doubt him, but somehow my insecure side finds a way.

"Does this mean you are back? Are you going to leave me again?" I am not allowing myself to believe him and left myself believe that he loves unless I know for sure that he is going to be with me.

"Bella, with your permission I will never leave. The world outside of you holds no interest for me, and if you will have me I will never leave your side."

I consider my choices, I can tell Edward the truth, tell him I love him and that I want to be with him forever, I can let him love me and love him back just as much, we can live like that for as long as I live. I could also tell him the truth again but say that only if he agrees to change me one day will I let him be with me. That plan was selfish and mean, but I knew how hesitant he was to change me because of my newly recovered memories. However this plan had its risks, he could say no to changing me and then I would be left with nothing. I would be left with no Edward. My final plan is to leave him, say that the chance of him laving me was so painful that I couldn't fathom it, which was true, but say that I couldn't allow that to ever happen. I knew Jake loved me, I could forever live a lie and grow old with Jake. But that wasn't fair to myself and was certainly not fair to Jake. No one would benefit. So I decide to go with the first plan.

"Edward, I love you, how can you doubt that I love you?"

Instead of saying something, he just leaned in and very slowly, slower than every before he pressed his ice-cold lips to mine.

"I guess the supernatural can't stay away from you after all right? I am back after only a couple of months, you must have been due for something other than the norm." Edward chuckles after we finish kissing, oh how wrong he is!

"Edward, I have not been free from the supernatural, not at all."

"How so?"

"Forks has been full of vampires and supernatural of sorts more than when the whole Cullen clan was in town."

"What vampires and what do you mean by supernatural of sorts?" His stress levels are rising and I can feel the tension rolling off of him in waves.

"Laurent, Victoria have both been back," I say with a sudden, revisiting memories that I would rather keep out of, "And now the LaPush boys are more of a pack than ever." I finish hinting at the fact they are werewolves, the word is still too strange for me to say.

"What?" He is angry now, "I thought that the Blacks, Uleys and Levi's werewolf sides died out with that generation. As for Victoria and Laurent, they left. Please explain."

"I might as well tell you the full story of what happened after you left…."


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys, I just want to say a big thank you to my regular commenter Topaz18, you are amazing, this chapter is for you!**

**This is a pretty short chapter, but i needed to update so i just decided to put it up. I hope you like it. Bella explains everything to Edward in this chapter, which is pretty much a short run through of new moon and so for the sake of it not being rediculously long, i have shortened some btis and cut others out completley. So if you are reading it and are a little confussed that is why. **

**I love you all, please continue to comment! Thanks**

**-IWISHIWASNTATWIEHART**

BPOV

I don't know what to tell Edward, what do I leave out- I am sure that he will not like hearing about my motorcycling, and will defiantly not like the my cliff diving. But he deserves it, to know everything.

"After you left, it was a dark couple of months for me, honestly I don't remember much of them. I was more zombie-like than human, I blocked everyone out. I was more existing rather than living. Everything reminded me of you, so it was easier to block everything out. The nights were the worst, the nightmares were unending, I would wake up screaming every night. My father was worried, well more like hysterically concerned, that I had no friends left, so I arranged to go to a movie with Jessica. It was a blood bath, but had romance at the beginning and at the end. It hurt so much to watch, I had to leave. As we were walking out of the cinema thought I saw a group of men that looked an awful lot like the ones we met so long ago in Port Angeles."

"Bella" Edward cautions, obviously not liking where this was going.

"I remembered how you saved me. I don't really know what I was thinking but maybe if I just went over to them, you could save me again. As I started walking towards them, I heard your voice. All you said was my name but everything changed. For a minute my chest stopped throbbing, my sides stayed firmly in place, I felt normal. It occurred to me as time went on that every time I put myself in danger I could hear you, as if you were standing next to me. It was insane and I didn't understand it but it worked. I went looking for ways to harm myself, and so I found some bikes. I remembered Jacob, Jacob Black, and took them to him to fix. We became best friends almost immediately. He fixed the whole. As soon as the bikes were done I rode on them often, hearing your voice almost every time. I ended up in the emergency room many times but it was worth it. I still craved your voice and so tried to find the meadow you once showed me. When I did, it was different, so different; there was no magic there without someone that was magical. But I did find one thing, Laurent. He told me he was going to kill me, but just before he did a pack of wolves saved me, and later I found out killed Laurent. Jacob phased, he was one of the pack members that saved me," I say knowing that he would need no more of an explanation, he would know what I meant, "And he was always busy. Charlie was always busy hunting Victoria who also wanted me dead. I was lonely and needed to hear your voice, so I jumped of a cliff like the LaPush kids did. Then everything went blank. That was when I woke up and remembered nothing."

I look at Edward hesitantly, not sure of how he will take this information. He looks mad, no furious.

"Why did you risk your life to hear my voice? After I broke your heart, and made you depressed?" It hurt him to say it, that much was obvious.

"Because even when I was in that state I knew I loved you, I just thought you didn't love me."

"But why Bella, why did you love me, why do you still love me? Don't you understand, I ruined everything, your whole life. And I am still doing it, I am taking you away from your own kind, and putting you in danger every second I am with you. There is no action I can do without hurting you."

He is so off base, I love him more than ever now, and he can't even see it.

"Edward, I love you because of who you are. You have the most beautiful soul, you care, sometimes too much, you are always protecting me, you are beautiful, you are magical, you are perfect. And as for everything hurting me, you never have hurt me, and you never will. Although there is one particular action I remember being better than all of the others,"

I say as I lean in and press my lips to his ice cold ones. At first he is gentle, but then I feel everything pouring off him in waves, love, lust, need, regret. Everything he is feeling.

"Thank you for being honest with me Bella. I love you more than anyone can love anything else in the world. I just do have to ask you one favour."

"Yes" I say, still a little breathless.

"Come live with me."

**Please comment!**


	10. Chapter 10

Hey guys, sorry if you thought this was an update, I know this story is long overdue for one. I was just letting you know what I am starting a new story. It is called _A start and an end _and it is new and therefore in desperate need of a reviews. You guys are so great at reviewing; please can you just check it out and leave a comment or two? I would really appreciate it!

I love you all and appreciate your reviews so much

Thank you

-IWISHIWASNTATWIHEART


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